There Is No All Or Nothing

Something that I hear quite often as a personal trainer is “I am an all or nothing person.” Usually the message is from a client who believes they either they must eat perfectly and exercise every single day, or they will be unable to keep from gorging themselves and skipping the gym. I think this attitude is false and really only serves to set one up for failure. We are all much more capable than that, and most of my clients lives outside the gym already show that.

Most of the people that I work with are leading a life that looks more or less like this: they have a family of their own or belong to one, they have friends, they have hobbies, and they have a job to fund the lifestyle they lead. They come to me to lose weight, strengthen their bodies, and feel better. When we get into talking about making small, incremental lifestyle changes for the long haul, they hit me with “I can’t do it that way. I’m an all or nothing person.” Now imagine for a moment that that really was the truth and that was the attitude they had with everything. Wouldn’t that mean that they couldn’t have more than one thing in their lives at a time? They’d have to only get out of bed, go straight to work and then go straight home and to bed. No happy hours on Thursdays or half days on Fridays. No weekends or vacations. No carved out time away from work at all. Maybe then they could work a couple of years until they met someone. Then it would be time to quit the job and devote all of the time to this new person. If all went well, they could start a family and then turn all of their attention to the children. There would be no baby sitters for a romantic evening away from the kids, because raising the kids would be an all or nothing prospect.

I realize I am pushing it a little far here, but then again that is the point. Most people don’t take the same extreme stands in their personal lives that they attempt to take with fitness. In life, most people do the best they can to find some kind of acceptable balance. They develop personal lives alongside of their professional lives. They find hobbies to devote some of their limited time to, and make the best of it. They often even opt to sacrifice a little bit somewhere else in order to spend more time with their children. This all shows that they are capable of looking at the situation, evaluating a path forward, and making compromises when necessary.

Fitness should be no different. Set yourself up for success by looking at what things you can do step by step and over the long term rather than setting massive commitments on top of your already busy life. Instead, think about what you are willing to do and start there; little changes do make a difference. Realize that you didn’t get where you are today by making one sided, all or nothing stands, but by forging a path to follow which over time took, and hopefully is continuing to take, you towards your goals. Above all, don’t doubt yourself and your ability to take control of your situation.